


Tijuana Funk

by DraniKitty



Series: See you, Space Cowboy [2]
Category: Cowboy Bebop, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: a really old claw machine, brief mention of nudity, discussions of tattoos and piercings in questionable places, evading arrest, hanzo questions why he works with these people, more noodle dragon antics, they really like the cowboy, yes winston is still a gorilla, zenyatta is still very zen and calm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 10:05:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12604168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraniKitty/pseuds/DraniKitty
Summary: Session 2 - Tijuana Funk





	Tijuana Funk

McCree tugged his hat down low, chewing on his cigar. Tijuana was one of the few places he could hide, for the time being, without any bounty hunters spotting him, especially if he stuck close to the highly-visible Shimadas. Pulling out his map, he double checked where they were versus where they needed to be and gave a nod, “This’s the place.”  
  
Staring over the top of his sunglasses, Hanzo found himself incredibly unimpressed. “THIS is where you get parts?”   
  
“Hey, when a guy’s tryin’ to NOT get caught, he ain’t picky about where he goes.” With purpose in his stride, McCree went into the shop, Genji following much more easily than Hanzo. The inside was dim and dusty as anything else, with a fine layer of dirt on just about everything. Behind the counter sat a man that looked like he could be part gorilla, tinkering with something. “Howdy, partner, lookin’ for some parts for a ship and some for a zipcraft. Don’t suppose you might have what we’re lookin’ for?”   
  
The gorilla-man looked up, adjusting his glasses. “And just what parts are you looking for?”   
  
McCree leaned over, handing him a paper. “Just these. If’n ya don’t got ‘em, might ya know where we CAN find ‘em?”   
  
Looking at the short list, the gorilla-man got up, proving to be, in fact, a gorilla. Moving about the shop with ease, he soon produced several parts. “I have all but one on this list. If your zipcraft is down and out, it’s remaining that way. I don’t know of anybody in Tijuana who has it, though. That’ll be eight-hundred sixty five thousand woolongs.”   
  
Genji visibly blanched at the amount, “How could those all cost so much?!”   
  
The gorilla stared at Genji, tilting his head with a smile, “Because I may not be a bounty hunter, but I still watch that bounty hunter show.”   
  
McCree paled, eyes widening. “Don’t you go tellin’ no one you saw me, got it? Just…” He got out his card, paying for the parts. “You didn’t see me, I was never here.”   
  
“Whatever you say. Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Smith.”   
  
McCree tipped his hat, “Same at’cha, partner. Come on, boys, we gotta get these back up to the ship.”   
  
“Wait,” Hanzo motioned at the parts, “How are we getting these back up to the ship?”   
  
Stopping, McCree let out a long and loud sigh, before he picked one of the parts up and shoved it into Hanzo’s hands. “Why, we’re gonna carry ‘em back to our zipcrafts and fly ‘em on up!”   
  
A look of disgust at touching one of the ship’s parts crossed Hanzo’s face as he went completely rigid. The shorter parts of his hair stood on end, as did the hair on his arms, and he shoved the part back toward McCree. “I can’t carry that, I will get filthy!”   
  
“Stop bein’ such a drama queen, you can wash it all off! Just use my soap.” McCree turned, handing parts to Genji. When he was loaded up with parts himself, he lead the way back to their zipcrafts. “Now come on, bein’ on this flyin’ hunk’a rock’s givin’ me the willies. Too many people.”   
  
“But it’s FILTHY! Genji, stop laughing! Don’t ignore me, you overrated Hollywood throwback!”   


* * *

  
  
While McCree worked and Hanzo scrubbed away the dirt and grease from carrying parts, both real and perceived filth, Genji lounged across the chair in the livingroom again, covered in all the dragons. The latest episode of Big Shot was on, with two fugitives shown side-by-side. One was wearing a hog mask and absolutely huge, the other looked like he’d been tinkering with a ship’s electrical system with his bare hands. Genji laughed quietly to himself, scratching his dragon’s cheek.   
  
All three serpentine creatures let out startled sounds as they were tossed to the floor in a tangle of long noodle bodies and stubby little limbs when Genji sat up, yelling, “HOW MANY WOOLONGS?!” He scrambled off the chair, running to the ship’s bathroom and pounding on the door. “ANIJA! HANZO! HANZO HURRY UP!” He smacked both hands repeatedly on the door, eyes wide with excitement. “ANIJA!”   
  
“The hell’s all the yellin’ about? I can hear ya clear down in the engine room!” McCree was rubbing his hand into an old rag, walking up to Genji in the hall. He immediately had a blue dragon climbing up his leg and back, making the man shift and dance and let out sounds of surprise and a couple barked laughs, before settling under his hat. “Now you get th’ hell outta there!”   
  
The dragon only chittered, leaning down to stare McCree in the eye upside-down. It then turned, curling fully under the hat happily.   
  
Genji bounced on his feet, somehow missing the other two dragons as they ran and all but danced around his feet, excitement bleeding into them, “There are two new bounties! Each is worth TEN MILLION WOOLONGS, but if they’re brought in together you get THIRTY million woolongs!”   
  
McCree stared, then grinned big, before pounding on the bathroom door, “HURRY ON UP, SUGAR! BIG BOUNTY!”   
  
The shower finally stopped and the door shot open, Hanzo glaring at both men, “You two are VERY loud and persistent and-” Both McCree and Genji stared at Hanzo a moment, then their eyes traveled down. Genji’s snapped right back up. “What are you staring-” His words cut off in startled Japanese as the door shot closed again, Hanzo’s face bright red. Genji had his eyes squeezed shut and a pained look on his face, while McCree stared wide-eyed at the door.   
  
Slowly, Genji’s hands rose to scrub at his face, “That was FAR more of my brother than I EVER wanted to see and I never want to see that much of him again.”   
  
“He’s got a-”   
  
“DO NOT SAY IT!” Turning on his heel, Genji hurried off, “I am going to need the use of your whiskey, we can go after the bounties tomorrow! I have things I need to forget!”   
  
McCree continued to stare at the bathroom door, before he looked down at pawing against his ankle. The two dragons not under his hat looked up at him, then turned and looked in the direction of the kitchen, before looking back at McCree. The green one opened its mouth, letting out a small squeak, before scurrying to lead the way. Letting out a small sound, McCree followed, much to the delight of the two small noodle creatures.   


* * *

  
  
Hanzo pointedly avoided both Genji and McCree for the remainder of the evening. He only surfaced when he got hungry, sneaking into the kitchen. He peeked in, looking around, before finally stepping in to find something to eat.   
  
“You will not find either of them in here.”   
  
A startled sound escaped Hanzo as he dropped his cup. He whirled around, finding only Zenyatta, sitting cross-legged on the floor with Genji’s dragon in his lap. “I know not what you speak of!”   
  
Zenyatta only chuckled, scratching the dragon’s cheek. He was rewarded with a happy purr. “Your dragons, by the way, have taken quite a liking to the cowboy. One has not left his head.”   
  
“I will… Detangle them from him. Later.”   
  
“You know, many people accidentally-”   
  
“I do not wish to discuss that!”   
  
“Understood.” They lapsed into silence, as Hanzo made a small meal for himself and sat to eat it, and Zenyatta sat in relative silence. The orbs that circled him soon caught the dragon’s attention, and the Omnic was soon chuckling as the long creature tried to catch one.   
  
“Why are you in the kitchen, anyway?” Hanzo pointed with his fork, “I thought Omnics did not eat.”   
  
“We don’t. But I figured you might want some company that would not feel awkward.” Zenyatta watched as the dragon caught one of the orbs, curling on it enough to float. It let out a proud chittering and chirruping, twisting this way and that as the orb circled around Zenyatta. “Yes, you have done very well, little friend! Congratulations!”   
  
Hanzo swore Zenyatta was almost smiling.   
  
After a moment, Zenyatta rose. He gave a bow to Hanzo, “I should go charge for the night. I understand there are two bounty marks to catch, and it would be best if we all went to increase our odds. Peace be upon you, Hanzo.”   
  
Hanzo waved, watching him go. He finished eating, then sighed, staring off into the distance at nothing. Finally, he got up and placed his bowl in the sink. He’d wash his dishes in the morning, until then he needed to escape back to his room. That was down the hall from- Nope, he wasn’t going to think about that.   


* * *

  
  
At first light to pass over the asteroid’s dome, the crew returned to Tijuana. Genji sat in McCree’s zipcraft, Peacekeeper, in the only spare seat, watching forlornly as space passed by. “I want to be in MY ship… Or just plain flying.”   
  
“You’re lucky I’m lettin’ you ride in the back’a Peacekeeper, ain’t no way in Hell I’m lettin’ you pilot her.” He glanced back, then grinned slowly, “If it bugs ya so much, why don’tcha ride back in yer brother’s ship?”   
  
A hand slapped over Genji’s mouth as he turned green at the gills, looking at McCree in alarm. “NO!”   
  
“Okay, then shut yer trap and quit whinin’. We’ll check Europa for a part for yer zipcraft when we stop there.” With expert precision, McCree landed his craft where hopefully neither bounty hunters nor the ISSP would notice it. It was soon joined by Zenyatta’s and Hanzo’s, both opening as McCree and Genji climbed out of Peacekeeper. “The best bet’s gonna be to split into two teams. One team looks fer this Junkrat guy, the other looks fer… The hell was his name?”   
  
Genji pulled up the information, “Roadhog. But his real name is Mako Rutledge. Junkrat may also be going by Jamison Fawkes.” He looked up at McCree, “And before you say anything, I call being in a group with Zenyatta!”   
  
“Now hold on a minute!” McCree turned, hands on his hips. “Don’t WE get a say in this? What if I wanted you on MY team? Or Zenyatta on my team?”   
  
Genji shook his head rapidly, “No! There are things I would rather NOT think about!”   
  
“Is it the fact you both saw your brother naked?” Zenyatta’s question was asked as innocent as could be, as if he were unsure.   
  
“Zenyaaattaaaaa, why?!” Pulling his hands down his face, he turned and started walking. “Let’s just go find the skinny rat! You two can go find the fat one!”   
  
Zenyatta watched Genji for a moment, then turned and chuckled at Hanzo and a rather red-faced McCree before following.   
  
Pulling his hat down more, McCree grumbled about how good the Omnic was at hiding stuff. Finally he cleared his throat. “I-”   
  
“Yes, I have a piercing there, I know you were staring.”   
  
McCree’s face only got redder. “Let’s just go find the hog and get outta here so we can all get drunk off our asses on the good shit and forget yesterday ever happened.”   
  
Just as red in the face as McCree was, Hanzo followed after him. He resolutely told his mind to not wander places, he was only on the ship long enough that they could safely be rid of the man, collect his bounty, and keep the ship to themselves. There would be no lasting partnership or relationship. “We cannot let that linger, it is a fact of us all sharing a shower. We are bound to see things. For instance, Genji has a tattoo on his ass.”   
  
Stopping, McCree stared up at the sky, then turned, “I’m sorry, why do ya know that?”   
  
“There was an unfortunate incident with cacti. It is Pachimari. He will be very displeased to know that you know, but he DID interrupt my shower.”   
  
McCree’s eyes narrowed, “I think I got more questions now than before… This ain’t findin’ our mark. The more time we’re here, the more chance’a somebody seein’ me.”   
  
They fell into step, talking only when they inquired about if anybody had seen a large man with a pig mask. After much random pointing and several hours, they stopped at a drink stand by a small arcade.   
  
Letting out a sigh, McCree took a drink, looking around. “How do ya lose track’a somebody that big?”   
  
“Very easily, apparently.” Hanzo looked at the arcade, before he went over to a claw machine. It was easily half a century old, yet it still functioned. Slowly, he lowered his sunglasses, eyes growing wide. “There is a PACHIMARI in there!”   
  
McCree rubbed a hand over his face, walking over slowly. “We are NOT stoppin’ so you can- Hanzo, no, we’re not playin’ at a claw machine that’s pro’ly older than both our ages combined!”   
  
Hanzo turned a scathing glare at McCree, stubbornly scanning his credit chip. “I am winning that Pachimari!”   
  
“Oh my g- I will pick you up and CARRY you away if I have to!”   
  
Prepared to retort as he moved the claw, Hanzo fell silent as they were eclipsed by a giant shadow. Quickly, he pressed the button to drop the claw as he turned and looked up. Very up. “Oh… Hi.”   
  
McCree’s hat nearly fell off as he stared upward, taking in the man looming over them. Finally, he mumbled, “They didn’t say he was so TALL…” Behind them, the sound of the Pachimari doll falling into the prize drop reached all their ears, causing Hanzo and McCree to turn and look, while the giant of a man turned more slowly.   
  
Silence stretched on between them, before the giant man, voice deep and gravely, said, “Move.”   
  
Hanzo looked back at him, then slowly reached for the prize door, “Just let me get… My… Pachimari…”   
  
“Hanzo, I think HE wants the doll…”   
  
“What?! I am not giving up this doll! Genji LOVES Pachimari!”   
  
Adjusting his hat, McCree mumbled, “Loves it enough to get a fuckin’ tattoo on his ass of it…” Then, louder, he said, “Just give the giant pig man the doll, an’ maybe we can… Um… Ye’re gettin’ mighty’ close there, partner.”   
  
The giant man leaned down into McCree’s space, eyes narrow behind the mask, “Did you just call me a pig?”   
  
“It’s, uh… It’s the mask.”   
  
The man nodded, then reached for the doll Hanzo had retrieved. Hanzo took a large step back, clutching it close, “You are not getting this!”   
  
“Hand the doll over, tiny.”   
  
“Trust me, he ain’t tiny….” McCree held an arm up to block the rock Hanzo threw at him. “What?!”   
  
“That is NOT to be discussed in PUBLIC! Or with a wanted criminal!”   
  
McCree stared, then the giant man let out a low and threatening chuckle, “And you say that to a wanted criminal.” He pointed at the Pachimari, “Hand it over.” Starting toward Hanzo, he reached again.   
  
When McCree looked at Hanzo, he could see a glint in his eye. “Hanzo… What’re you gettin’ ready to do?”   
  
“You want Pachimari that much? Come get it!” Ducking under the outstretched hand and arm, Hanzo ran off through the streets of Tijuana. The giant man let out an angry sound and turned, giving chase.   
  
McCree was left standing there, watching as they both grew smaller, before he finally took off after them.   


* * *

  
  
Genji and Zenyatta’s search was going… Only slightly better. They’d found the skinnier of the duo, but every time they began discussing a plan to catch him, they’d turn around and he’d be gone.   
  
The sixth time it happened, Genji ran a hand through his hair, “How does he DO that? He is less coordinated than McCree in the morning!”   
  
“He is less coordinated than you with a hangover.”   
  
Genji shot Zenyatta a grumpy look, “I am NOT that bad.”   
  
“You are.” Turning, Zenyatta pointed at a food booth, “He is there. Come.”   
  
They moved through the crowd, at least one keeping their eyes on their target at all times. They drew near, Genji starting to reach for the wild twig of a man, when another hand reached at the same time. Genji stopped, looking at the woman reaching, then scowled. “Hana.”   
  
The scowl was returned, “Genji.”   
  
The wild twig turned, blinking at them both, then grinned and thumbed at himself, “Junkrat!” He stopped. “Wait. Shit!” In a flash, he turned and started running.   
  
A string of Japanese words came from Genji, before he turned and pointed at Hana, “This is YOUR fault!” Genji took off, chasing the wild twig that was Junkrat, hopping over cars and people before he moved with practiced ease to rooftops.   
  
Behind him, he heard Hana distantly yelling. Genji paid her no mind. “This is OUR target…” He jumped a gap, sailing between buildings, startling as he saw a flash of Hanzo running one street over and clutching tightly at something. “Hanzo?”   
  
At a crossroad, Hanzo turned right while Junkrat turned left. Each paying more attention to their pursuers, they didn’t see the other coming until they crashed into each other, going down in a tangle of limbs both flesh and metal and one skinny peg leg, the Pachimari doll flying into the air. Genji jumped down, catching the doll, before he sat on the wild twig that was Junkrat. “Hanzo! What has you running?”   
  
Twisting and looking behind him, Hanzo scrambled up, “I got you a Pachimari, but there’s a giant hog-man chasing me for it!”   
  
Under Genji, Junkrat’s face lit up, “Roadhog!” He then glared at Genji, “Oy, get off me!”   
  
“I will not.” Softly, Genji hugged the Pachimari doll, a smile now on his face. So soft... “When you say giant, how giant are we talking?”   
  
“VERY giant!” Hanzo turned to look behind him as he started to walk, only to crash into somebody. “Watch it!” A string of Korean met his ears and Hanzo felt his skin prickle as he looked at Hana. “You!”   
  
“Yeah, me! This is OUR mark!”   
  
“No, he is OUR mark! We need that money!”   
  
“So do we!”   
  
Drumming his fingers on the ground, Junkrat looked up at Genji, “Are they always like this? Are ALL of you always like this?”   
  
Shifting so he sat cross-legged, Genji looked down at Junkrat, “Of course. Bounty hunters are by nature enemies of each other. My brother and I are a team, though, and Hana is on a team with somebody else.” He paused, looking up. “What is that sound?”   
  
Hanzo froze mid-argument with Hana, eyes wide as he slowly turned. “Oh no… No no no! Genji, grab him and let’s run!”   
  
Excitedly, Junkrat yelled, “Roadhog!”   
  
“Run whe-” Genji stopped as he saw a giant of a man round the corner, McCree hanging on with one arm around the man’s neck and other hand occupied keeping his hat on. “Oh.” In a quick motion, he whipped out handcuffs, twisting Junkrat’s arms around to secure them. “Let us depart, brother!”   
  
Hana was left gaping at the sight of Roadhog knocking people left and right. When she turned to say something to Hanzo and Genji, she was shocked to find them, as well as Junkrat, gone. “WHAT?!” She hit the button on her comm, taking off after the sound of an angry bounty, “Lucio, targets on the move! The Shimadas have Junkrat!”   
  
“ _You got it!_ ”   
  
Holding Junkrat up between them, one carrying his shoulders and the other his leg and peg, Genji and Hanzo ran for the local police station. Behind them, they could hear the rumble of Roadhog getting closer, trying to catch up to them. Hanzo’s lungs burned, as did his arms. “Are we nearly THERE?!”   
  
“Yes, I see the station!”   
  
Above them, Junkrat let out a panicked sound, “Now hold on! You gents look like you’re open for some negotiation! I know where a GREAT treasure is, and I’ll give you twenty-five percent of my share if you let me go!”   
  
Huffing and puffing, Genji said, “Not on your life!”   
  
Junkrat cursed, then looked back. His eyes lit up and he grinned big, “And what about your _friend_ hanging on Roadhog’s neck?”   
  
Hanzo spared a glance back, spying McCree. He looked back forward and tilted his head slightly so he could see the station. “Shit… SHIT!”   
  
“Shit WHAT?” Genji spared the barest look back at Hanzo, brow furrowed.   
  
“Jesse needs to let go of the pig man! He’ll get arrested!”   
  
Above them, Junkrat said, “And you blokes’ll be RICH! HOW much is his bounty worth?”   
  
Genji managed to pinch Junkrat while running, scowling, “We NEED him because he can fix our zipcrafts and the ship we live on!”   
  
Hanzo cursed as he tried to shift weight enough to call McCree. He managed to activate the comm, at the minimum, before he had to go back to holding up Junkrat’s peg and leg. “JESSE!”   
  
McCree fumbled to hold on as he answered, “WHAT?! Little BUSY here if’n neither’a you NOTICED!”   
  
“Let go of the pig! You’ll get arrested, too!”   
  
The color drained from McCree’s face, “Well shit.” Panic rose as he felt a hand grab the back of his shirt. It didn’t take much to figure out what had grabbed him before he found the ground sailing under him. “SHIT! Look out!”   
  
There was no time for Hanzo and Genji to react before McCree’s heavy body crashed into first Hanzo, then Genji, sending them all tumbling and Junkrat flying. When they came to a stop, a pile of tangled limbs on the road, Genji let out a groan, “What just happened?”   
  
Casting a glance around for his hat, McCree said, “I got thrown. Anythin’ else I should know?”   
  
A zipcraft with a black frog wearing headphones painted on it zipped past, managing to catch Junkrat on the windshield. Genji sighed, “Lucio and Hana are on them, too.”   
  
“Could you two stop prattling and get off of me? I’m not sure about either one of you, but I’m not particularly fond of being sandwiched between either one of you.” Hanzo glared at both Genji and McCree, before he tried to pull himself free. While a gathering crowd watched, all three began to let out protestations at each other as they tried to detangle from one another, until a large shadow was cast over them all and made them freeze.   
  
Slowly, as one, all three looked up to find Roadhog towering over them.   
  
Just as slowly, Roadhog lifted one hand and pointed at the Pachimari firmly attached to Genji’s belt, “Give me that.”   
  
An orb bounced off Roadhog’s head, glowing a merry green. The giant man looked at it for a moment, before tottering over with a heavy crash. Zenyatta floated up behind him, face ever impassive, “Experience the tranquility of sleep, friend.” He looked from Roadhog to the tangled crew, head tilting, “Are you all alright?”   
  
With some effort, Hanzo finally pulled himself free, allowing McCree and Genji to get up as well, “Yes, but the frog took half our bounty.”   
  
Zenyatta shrugged, “We still got part of a bounty, and while we do not get the full reward for bringing both in, neither do they.” His gaze turned to Roadhog, a hum rising from within. After a moment, he asked, “How do we get him into the station?”   
  
There was a pause, before Genji said, “We try to lift him, obviously.” Roadhog gave a great snore under his mask as Genji tried to lift him, letting out an undignified grunting noise. On the other side, Hanzo shook his head and gave his best attempt to lift even just one shoulder, only to make a similar sound.   
  
McCree rubbed a hand over his face, then looked up as a pink zipcraft approached. Checking his comm channels, he waved, “Howdy, Hana.”   
  
Through the window of the zipcraft, Hana scowled at McCree, “What do you want?”   
  
“Got a deal offer for ya.”   
  
“And that is?”   
  
Looking at Roadhog, McCree scratched his cheek, “I can’t be goin’ in there, but you can, and so can these three. But ain’t none of US able to lift this giant chunk’a person. Bounty’s thirty million woolongs for BOTH’A them, or just ten million a piece.”   
  
Slowly, Hanzo looked at McCree, eyebrows up and expression far from pleasant, “We are NOT splitting the bounty with these CHILDREN!”   
  
“Perhaps,” Zenyatta said, “The idea of splitting the bounty six ways, if that is what our dear pilot is getting at, is not such a bad idea.” He motioned to Hana and Lucio, who had by then landed his zipcraft and had a surprisingly firm hold on Junkrat, “We would each walk away with five million woolongs, instead of them having five million each, and the four of us having two point five million a piece.”   
  
Hauling Junkrat over, Lucio asked, “What if Hana and I want fifteen million woolongs a piece?”   
  
“Can yer overgrown flyin’ pea shooters lift this guy and move far? And what about gettin’ him IN the police station?”   
  
There was a pause, before Hana landed her craft. With a sigh, she got out and went over, offering her hand. “Okay, we split the bounty six ways. JUST this once.” She looked at Roadhog, trying to calculate his weight. “Four of us could lift him, I think… With a fifth piloting the zipcraft for that extra lift. But…” Her gaze shifted to McCree, “YOU can’t be carrying him in. And we gotta hurry before the ISSP walk out to see what’s going on. You fly the zipcraft to lift him, Lucio collects the full bounty and splits it. That sound good?”   
  
Genji held his hand up, “And this ensures we ALL get a fair split of the full bounty?”   
  
“You think I trust just ANYBODY with my baby?” Turning, Hana motioned at the rabbit-decorated pink craft, “Meka is my pride and joy, I don’t even let Lucio touch her!”   
  
“She’s right, I don’t even get to WASH it.”   
  
“Her.”   
  
“Sorry, wash _her_ .”   
  
Hana stuck her hand out again, “So, do we have a deal, cowboy?”   
  
McCree held a finger up, then turned to Hanzo, Genji, and Zenyatta, “Well, whatta ya think? Zen, you ain’t got a need to answer, you already expressed your agreement.”   
  
“Of course,” Zenyatta answered, continuing to float peacefully. His orb he’d sent at Roadhog returned, before he sent it right back, keeping Roadhog asleep.   
  
Letting out a huff, Hanzo glared first at McCree, then Roadhog, before he finally nodded, “Very well. Five million woolongs is better than no woolongs, at least.”   
  
Genji let out a long, overdrawn sigh as he said, “Yes, let’s just get him in there already, I want to get OUT of here so we can fix MY zipcraft!”   
  
McCree only waved Genji off, going over to Hana, “Alright, lemme in that bubblegum nightmare.”   
  
“You could at least not insult it, at least mine doesn’t look one solar wind away from falling apart!” Reaching her hand out, Hana gave him the keys. “You’d BETTER not scratch the paint!”   
  
Placing a hand on his chest as the other clutched the keys, McCree feigned hurt, “Does this look like the face’a a man who’d scratch your pretty paint job?”   
  
“Yes!”   
  
McCree let out a huff, then went up to the bubblegum pink zipcraft, “Let’s just get this over with ‘fore the cops start asking questions and other bounty hunters want in on the prize. And somebody grab the burned noodle ‘fore he worms away!”   
  
Genji turned, placing a foot on Junkrat’s back, “Not so fast, matchstick man!”   
  
“Oy, get yer foot off me back!”   
  
Laughing, Genji picked him up, “Not on your life! Wow, you’re heavier than you look…”  
  
Several minutes later, between the lift hooks on Meka and even just four people lifting Roadhog from below, they got both the giant man and his twiggy accomplice into the station. McCree parked far enough away that the police wouldn’t be able to see him, while Lucio split the bounty between everybody. When the group got to the zipcraft, Lucio transferred the last five million woolongs to McCree’s account.   
  
“There, we’re all squared away. From this moment on, we don’t act like we EVER worked as a group.” Lucio pointed at everybody, “Agreed?”   
  
McCree climbed out of Meka, huffing, “Damn right. Zen, Shimadas, let’s get the hell outta here.”   
  
“FINALLY! I want to fix my zipcraft!”   
  
“You keep up that whinin’ and I’ll make damn sure it ain’t ever flyin’ again without a solid shove across space and inta the sun.”   
  
“You wouldn’t DARE!”   
  
“I would.”   
  
Hanzo only sighed, donning his sunglasses. He paused to look at Zenyatta, who gave him as serene a look as ever. “Why do we work with them?”   
  
Zenyatta only shrugged, “Genji is your brother and you feel familial obligation to keep him out of trouble as much as he feels familial obligation to keep you from becoming a hermit, and our dear cowboy knows how to fix our ships when they break down.”   
  
Glaring for a moment, Hanzo walked after the arguing pair, “Why must you be right?”  
  
 _See you, Space Cowboy_


End file.
